Motivation

Therapy Week 3

Today’s therapy session was encouraging.  It was nice to be able to tell my therapist that I have not only kept up with my homework, but that I added more to my list.  She said that I seemed very motivated and I agreed.  She also told me that keeping up the momentum I have started is very important.  She said that I will have weeks that are harder than others when I won’t do as well.  The important thing for me to remember in those weeks is to just do as much as I can and not quit altogether.  She said sometimes people have bad weeks and just don’t do their homework at all that week and that makes things harder.

So, dear readers, I have a request.  If I have a hard week and post about it, please keep me accountable.  Encourage me to do something even if I can’t do everything that I’m supposed to.  I feel so good about myself this week, but I know there is still much frustration ahead.  If you know me very well, you know that I am incredibly hard on myself.  If I get on here and start bitching and moaning about how hard this is and how much I suck, just tell me to shut up and put on my big girl pants.

Work

Surprisingly enough, working with preschoolers gets less stressful (OCD-wise, anyway) every day.  As it turns out, this whole exposure thing actually works!  Who would’ve thunk it?  As of tomorrow, I will have successfully resisted showering immediately after work for two full weeks.  I am still so impressed with myself for that!  Today I really, really wanted to shower after work.  It wasn’t so much that the kids grossed me out, but more that I had sweat a lot at work and felt really gross, which seems more normal than OCD, but I could be wrong.  I had to spend some time outside today while at work and it was super hot and humid.  Yuck!  I was so glad it rained this afternoon and cooled things off!  If only it had rained this morning before we took the kids to recess so we could have skipped recess altogether!

Supplements

Theanine is the same.  My therapist said 200mg per day is plenty but that I could take 300mg if I wanted to.  Starting today, I’m up to 3/4 teaspoon twice per day which amounts to 6.6 grams total per day.  I’m about halfway to the goal.  I’m hoping to start noticing a difference soon.  I’m also hoping to find somewhere to order this stuff in bulk.  The little bottle I have won’t last much longer and it’s going to be expensive to keep buying this way.  Does anyone know of a good bulk supplement retailer?

Homework

Use hand sanitizer only after:

  • tying shoes

No cleaning allowed whatsoever after:

  • touching TV remote and similar household objects
  • touching the shower curtain
  • removing lint from dryer

No showering immediately after working at preschool

Decrease number of times I use hand sanitizer at work

I use hand sanitizer a lot at work.  I usually would rather wash my hands with soap and water, but I have been proud of myself for resisting running to a sink.  My therapist said that constantly using hand sanitizer to calm my anxiety ultimately causes me more anxiety.  Every time I use hand sanitizer to calm anxiety and then touch something else that is contaminated, there’s a shock of anxiety.  If I use sanitizer less (therefore touching more contaminated things without calming anxiety and then having it peak again), then my anxiety will have a chance to slowly come down on its own.  Make sense?  If I didn’t explain that very well, leave me a comment letting me know.  I’ll try again.

There was more I wanted to write, but I’m going to have to cut this short.  It’s late and I have a busy day tomorrow.  Maybe I’ll get a chance at some point to revisit this.

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6 thoughts on “Motivation

  1. When I was running the gym, I found a site that sells supplements at wholesale to the public (which was really frustrating at the time because we sold marked up supplements). Maybe I can use its evil, business crushing convenience for a good cause here. Haha! It’s generally for fitness supplements, but you may check into it just in case. The site is dpsnutrition.com. Hope that helps!

    1. Thanks! Unfortunately, they only have inositol in 500 mg capsules. At the dosage I’m going for, I’d be taking at least 24 capsules per day. Right now I’m using powder, but it comes in a pretty small bottle. I’m trying to find somewhere where I can get a large amount of it in powder.

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