Considering where I have been with OCD lately (and by that I mean letting it run my life), I just managed a pretty major feat. No, forget what I said about considering where I have been with OCD lately. This is a pretty big deal regardless of my regression. This would have been a big deal this summer.
I cleaned a toilet AND I used bleach to do it (well, it’s Clorox Cleanup, so there is bleach in it)! Two of my biggest contamination fears. To be clear, I do clean my toilets on a regular basis–not as often as normal people do, but they do get cleaned. I do not, however, use bleach because bleach terrifies me. I am feeling a little shaky and panicky right now, but I did it. Oh, AND I only washed my hands 3 times afterward. That’s right, only a few times and I managed to avoid the magic number 4, another compulsion.
As high as my anxiety got, it feels really good to have done something so big against OCD. I haven’t been fighting it much lately. It’s definitely good to remember what it feels like to fight and win a battle.
And with that, I’m going to go take a long, hot shower to wash all the yuckiness off!