Things are going better. Emotionally, I’m pretty stable. I’m up to 40 mg of Prozac now and have been on that dosage for just over a week. I decided to increase my dosage over spring break because then the side effects wouldn’t interfere with my schoolwork. This increase went really smoothly because of that. I had a week of zero stress to get used to the higher dosage before going back to school this week.
Sleep deprivation was MUCH less than before
Sweaty hands (etc.) have not been as bad as before, though they didn’t get bad last time until the second week, so we’ll see.
The Good Stuff
Right before I increased my dosage, I started noticing very tiny positive effects from the Prozac. Things like small decisions having less anxiety attached to them. That’s right. I can make decisions like where to eat dinner tonight without freaking out about picking the right place. Last night, for instance, my boyfriend asked me where I wanted to eat, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. That was it. Decision made. A minute later, our to-go order had been made and he went to pick it up. It was amazing, so fast!
That motivated me to go ahead and go up to 40 mg. That little bit renewed my hope. I want to see what happens. I want to see if life can be easier. Who knows? This could really work. It’s nice to be hopeful again. It makes me want to actually to my ERP therapy homework again. I have been slacking on that sooooo terribly.
I’m excited to see how this goes. I really want it to work.
Update (3/23/11 9:38 pm)
The sweating got tremendously worse in the last hour. I guess that makes sense. Last time it took a week to get bad. I hope this does not last a full week like it did before. I really don’t want to deal with this disgusting crap again. So the question is whether or not to use the antiperspirant medication tonight. Nasty, sweaty hands or cracked, peeling hands?
Breathe. I can do this.
I can do this.